Monday, April 30, 2012

Draculas : a novel of terror by Jack Kilborn, F. Paul Wilson, Jeff Strand, and Blake Crouch (Joe Konrath, Jack Kilborn's real name, may also be listed as an author)

Draculas : A Novel of Terror is not for the faint of stomach. There are frequent, graphic descriptions of rather extreme violence, and nearly as frequent uses of profanity. There's no sparkling here. These are old school vampires. Also, a clown.

Draculas is told in multiple points of view, including that of some of the formerly-human monsters. It begins with a farmer's discovery of a skull in a Romanian field. The skull's teeth are fang-like. Could this be the famous Dracula? Probably not. Given that a) the dentition would result in the teeth tearing up the poor guy's face, and b) the farmer refuses to let scientists examine it on the grounds that it embodies an ancient curse, it's most likely a fake. Fake or not, Mortimer Moorecook, elderly, cancer stricken, and wealthy, wants it. He's hired Shanna the anthropologist to research both the skull and vampire lore, and buys the hideous thing for an undisclosed sum. He sends a specially made box to Romania for the skull to be shipped in. When it arrives, Shanna points out that the teeth are really too big for the mouth. Mortimer holds the skull for a moment, and then sinks the teeth into his neck. His nurse, Jenny, and Shanna rush Mortimer to the hospital, where he dies.
Just as Jenny is wondering whether calling her ex, Randall, was really such a good idea, Mortimer starts spitting out teeth and turns into a vampire -- a dracula, as Randall calls him. Randall's a lumberjack. (Some of them have taken to calling themselves "arborists", but Randall prefers "lumberjack.") He's in the hospital because he hit himself in the back of the leg with his chainsaw when a squirrel fell on his head. Fortunately, he drove himself to the hospital, so his chainsaw is in the parking lot, safe in his pickup. Unfortunately, the chainsaw is out of gas. Fortunately, out of gas chainsaws still do a pretty good number on draculas.
Shanna's boyfriend, Deputy Clay Theel, arrives at the hospital to pick up Shanna and Jenny. (Shanna's going to break up with him. She just can't take another gun show.) Unfortunately, the hospital is crawling with draculas. Fortunately, Clay was planning on taking Shanna to a gun show, so he has lots of guns on him. Unfortunately, you pretty much have to take a dracula's head off to kill it. Fortunately, Clay's guns take really big ammo. The automatic shotgun barely even kicks! (Not like Alice, a Taurus Raging Bull -- "the most powerful handgun in the world" according to Clay, who would know. Alice kicks like a mule.)
The draculas continue to feed, biting people, drinking their blood, even licking the stuff off the floor in their desperate hunger. Not everyone they bite turns into a dracula, of course. Some are too drained, or too ripped apart, to turn. Plenty do, though. Doctors, nurses, orderlies, patients. Men, women, children. (Why had her mother never told her that people are filled with red candy?) Clowns.
The novel works well as a whole, no mean feat for four authors. And it is a novel, not a collection of short stories. It's a fast read with short sections. Don't let the 300+ pages fool you, only about half is devoted to Draculas, the rest is extras: "making of", short stories, and the like.

Give to fans of gory horror, people looking for an anti-Twilight.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A Good and Happy Child : A Novel by Justin Evans


George Davies can't bring himself to touch his baby boy. After months of excuses, his wife tells him to get help or get out. Desperate to be a good father and to save his marriage, George agrees. He tells his therapist that this is not his first time seeing a psychiatrist. He saw one as a child. The therapist asks him to make journals of that time in his life, and George does so. As he writes of his childhood -- a recently deceased father, a magical Friend, an attempted murder, a strange death -- he wonders: did the therapy help, or the exorcism? Was his Friend the same entity that his father encountered in Guatemala? Is it threatening George's own son? And if it is coming for a third generation of Davies, how can George protect his son?
Told both as entries in George's journals and addresses to his therapist, referred to as "you", the story is easy to follow and engrossing. As a veteran of many a horror book, I was pleasantly surprised by the twist ending.